Fault and Fear
by Agent Mozell
Summary: Note: I have not seen R&I in forever so I'm sorry if this is out of character for them both, I tried my best. Anyway, wrote this for a friend. "Jane was shot trying to protect Maura, but Maura feels guilty about it. She believes it is her fault, can Jane comfort her?"


Body twitched and her left arm slid over her stomach as her right hand clenched the pillow tightly. Her breathing quickened a bit and eyes fluttered beneath closed eyelids. A gentle hand touched the sleeping woman's face; she was in a cold sweat. The owner of the hand was worried and carefully shook her awake.

"Jane…Jane, wake up. It's just a bad dream." Hazelnut eyes closed as the owner of the voice leaned forward, resting her head against the sleeping woman's—Jane's— chest. "Jane…" She was close to being in tears with how incompetent she felt. How was she unable to help her dearest lover at a time like this?

Just a few days ago they were joking around as they always do, solving crimes together as they always do, and loving each other as they recently started doing.

But now they were here. She was sitting in a seat by the hospital bed as Jane was fighting of nightmares that would surely plague her for years to come. It was her fault too, that was what made it worse. If she had listened to her and stayed put, Jane wouldn't have needed to shield her from the killer's gun.

But she didn't and now Jane was sleeping here, plagued by nightmares just hours after the surgery to remove the bullet from her diaphragm.

The sobs came rushing out as the memory came back in high definition. Where did her composed self go? She had to keep it together in case Jane woke up, seeing her cry would only cause her to worry. She couldn't stop though, the more she tried the harder it got. Her whole body was shaking with the force of her ugly sobbing. She lifted herself up and tried to wipe away the tears streaming down her face, smudges of make-up stained her jacket along with her tears and snot. She had to get it together. She had to be strong for Jane.

That's when she felt a hand on her arm. Hazelnut eyes looked to see her lovers face. Her face looked pale and weak; she could see a faint smile and a gleam in those dark eyes.

"Maura…don't think I've seen you cry in a while." Her voice was hoarse and she struggled to sit up, face contorting in pain.

"Jane! You're not supposed to sit up; you only got out of surgery a few hours ago." The one who had been crying, Maura, had one hand to her messy face as she used the other to keep her from getting up. It hurt to see that Jane was in so much pain.

Reluctant at first, Jane took Maura's advice to stay lying down, but she still had her hand on Maura.

Maura had to chuckle a little as she fixed Jane's wavy black hair, "Sorry for waking you."

Jane made a face, closing her eyes and scrunching up her nose, as she turned her head away. "Please, don't worry about it. I don't think I would've slept longer anyway." She must've seen the look on Maura's face from the corner of her eyes. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Maura shook her head, blonde locks swaying with her. "It's nothing. Just rest for now, Jane."

She felt Jane's hand hold her knee tightly; her eyes had that determined stare that she fell in love with. She knew that she wouldn't win against her. Jane was too good a detective to give up so easily.

"I've been thinking about what happened…when you were shot." Maura put her finger up, seeing that Jane was about to say something. "Let me finish." She paused as she waited for Jane to finish pouting. "I've been thinking and I realize that this is my fault. If I had listened to you and stayed put back then then you wouldn't have had to take the bullet for me. I know that you were having nightmares about it, Jane, and I'm sorry." She felt tears welling up again, "I'm so sorry Jane."

Maura put her hands to her face; her shoulders shook as she tried to keep from crying again. She felt Jane squeeze her knee after a few moments and shyly looked at her. Jane had this look that said "don't be stupid" on her face.

"I wasn't dreaming about when I was shot, Maura."

Maura's breath caught when she spoke. She hadn't? But then what was she having a nightmare about? All scientific evidence pointed to Jane having nightmares about that traumatizing incident.

"It was about you getting shot. I was dreaming that it was you getting shot, Maura, and it scared me." Her hand tightened its grip; she was shaking as she spoke. "It scared me because I didn't know what to do. I don't know what I _would_ do if you were shot." Dark eyes closed, not because of her pain, but because she was holding back her own tears. "Maura, if I lost you there would be nothing to keep me sane…I'm afraid that I'll become like that shooter…"

Maura couldn't say anything to her. Shouldn't she be saying that it's alright? That she would manage because she's strong? That it's her who's holding her sanity and not the other way?

Pushing back her hair, Maura leaned forward and kissed Jane, it was a little awkward with the tubes in her nose, but she did. Jane didn't do anything at first, but soon kissed Maura back. The kiss turned passionate quickly, mouths open and tongues rolling in the others mouth. Jane tasted a little like anesthetics, but she was sure that she tasted just as bad.

Hazelnut eyes fluttered closed and she felt her lover slid her fingers through her hair…those surprisingly soft fingers felt good against her scalp. Her own hands drifted to Jane's face then through her thick raven colored hair.

They broke apart as naturally as they bean kissing, Maura felt the blood rush to her cheeks, reacting to her own heart beating faster from the kiss. Jane smiled and moved her hand so that it was holding Maura's.

"Stay with me until I fall asleep again." She chuckled at the look on Maura's face, "I'll make it up to you once I'm out of the hospital, for now this patient needs her rest."

Maura's breath caught and then she smiled, "I'm holding you to that, Jane."


End file.
